The older I get the more profound this fear becomes. Growing old and lonely is a terrible thought and one I am determined not to let happen.
I have no problem with being alone. I enjoy solitude and have no issue with spending large amounts of time by myself, but there are times when it would be nice to have a companion to spend some quality time with.
For the majority of my adult life, I have been single. Granted, I have spent a large portion of this time travelling, which is not exactly conducive to a long-term relationship, but the fact remains, throughout the majority of that period I was not in a relationship.
One reason for this is because of self-image issues. I was terribly skinny as a child, although I have put on weight in recent years, I still look a little underweight.
The fact that I was constantly reminded of the fact I was skinny during school, meant that I had a lack of confidence when it came to approaching women.
Various thoughts would run through my head such as, “why would she want to be with a skinny guy such as me?”, “there’s no way she’ll ever go out with me!”
I have improved in this regard and have a lot more confidence with the opposite sex now, but the voices remain lodged in the recesses of my mind. I don’t think they will ever go away.
